Just who the hell is Charlie Phair?
This is the most recent picture we could get of the entity known as Charlie Phair. Please be aware he is known to change forms…
By day, Charlie Phair works in digital marketing, a normal job like me or you. By night, he is churning out vitriolitic textual diarrhoea with the aim to reach the zenith, complete stream of consiousness. Luckily he is too easily distracted by movies and video games, for this to become a reality. In some cultures Charlie Phair is known as the bonafide hustler and player (of video games). In some of his forms he has been likened in appearance to Stephen Fry, David Walliams and James May when his hair gets really long.
Where did Charlie Phair come from?
Though he is currently suspected to be based in Nottingham, where he lives, works, sleeps and presumably preys, he is believed to have been born in Northern Ireland in 1986 before moving over to the UK where he was raised in Staffordshire. He went to Nottingham University to study English and American literature. After everyone told him his degree wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on, he spent some time trying to find employment and indeed a purpose in his life. Whether this is Charlie Phair’s true purpose remains to be seen. Who knows what he’s capable of?
What is Charlie Phair capable of?
Really? I just kinda told you… Okay. We know he can swim 25 metres front crawl in just under 24 seconds if he really goes for it. He can type at about 70 words per minute and is like obscenely good at Halo. At least that’s what he thinks. In truth. Nobody really knows what Charlie Phair is capable of. The only person who does, is Charlie Phair himself.
Can Charlie Phair be destroyed?
There is no known weapon that can destroy Charlie Phair.
What can we do when faced with Charlie Phair?
Just laugh at all his jokes and positively affirm his genius. I’m sure that’ll work.